Starting Over Is Never Easy
Today is the last day I will be living in Chicago. Perhaps it’s a permanent departure, or maybe I’ll be back before too long. I really don’t know what will happen. What I do know is that my business failed to financially support me and was slowly eating away at my happiness. I’ve also lost my closest friend in the process. I know that I’ll be twenty six in two months and have absolutely nothing to show for myself at the moment. I’m single, unemployed with no savings, no insurance, no financial safety net to fall back on. And though none of those things offer much hope, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my back. I can do anything I want now, and I have an opportunity to start fresh.
It’s awfully easy to feel like a failure right now, but strangely enough I feel like this is the best decision I’ve made in some time. I’ve learned a lot of things over the past two years, and learning when to say no, when enough is enough, and when to put yourself first can be tough for all of us, especially me. I’ve learned that success is subjective and quite relative, and that many of life’s greatest gifts don’t come in the form of a paycheck or pat on the back, but rather from your own internal satisfaction. And even though I feel like I’m giving up quite a bit right now, I know I still have the people and things that mean the most to me, the constants that no amount of money or professional success can provide or take away. I also know I’m well prepared to deal with whatever life throws my way thanks to my parents and lots of years in school (that thankfully resulted in two degrees).
Tomorrow’s going to be pretty tough. Saying goodbye to where I’ve made a home, where I’ve made some incredible friends, and where I’ve made a lot of wonderful memories won’t be easy, it never is. There’s never a good time to start over, but the toughest part is allowing yourself to accept that it’s the right thing to do. And I’m there, and that feels pretty great, all things considered.
